


From The Start

by tooqueerforyou



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1364197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooqueerforyou/pseuds/tooqueerforyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A songfic based on the song "Bare" from Bare: A Pop Opera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From The Start

_Do you remember_

_The day that you met me?_

_I swear it was yesterday…_

 

Chris was walking onto set when Ryan flagged him down. “Chris! So, we cast the guy who’s gonna play Blaine. He’s never been in a show with this level of production before, so I invited him to come today to see what it’s like and meet you. You two are gonna spend a lot of time together.” Ryan gestured to a man in a hoodie and jeans a few feet away, looking around with a grin and a glint of joy in his eyes, before noticing Ryan waving him down and running over. He ran his fingers through his messy dark curls and stuck his hand out. “Hey! I’m Darren Criss.”

 

_I knew with a glance_

_That you were the question_

_And you were the answer_

 

Darren smiled as Chris took his hand. “And you’re Chris Colfer! Pumped to be working with you, dude- You’re a phenomenal actor. Hoping maybe I could learn a few things from you. I’m not that experienced with film, but I did a ton of theatre in college. My friends and I actually have this theatre company-” Darren stopped talking when he saw the shocked look on Chris’s face. “Shit, I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? I talk a lot when I’m nervous, and I don’t really process what’s coming out of my mouth. You okay?”

 

Chris shook his head a slight amount before speaking. “Uh- yeah. I’m okay. It’s just- You’re Harry Freakin’ Potter.” Darren raised his eyebrows. 

 

“No way. There’s no way you’re a fan.” When Chris nodded, Darren grinned. “No way! Ryan must’ve told you or something.” Darren chuckled again when Chris hook his head, and Chris chuckled with him. “We know so much about each other already! Meant to be, man.”

 

_That the world would make sense again_

_If I held your hand_

 

Darren looked up at Chris on the staircase, and recited lines he had made sure to memorize perfectly. Then he thought of something. He stepped down one step and took the hand of the man standing in front of him, and ran with him to the door before the director yelled cut. It was apparently good. An hour later, they were taking take after take of he and Chris running down a hallway, hand in hand. It was awkward and a bit sweaty, but Darren felt a sense of belonging that he couldn’t quite place.

 

_Someday you’ll look back_

_And I hope you remember_

_The moment of truth when I knew who I was_

 

They were in Darren’s trailer, laughing about some joke Chris had made. Darren had a witty retort, but he was laughing too hard to say it. He looked over at Chris, and suddenly noticed just how beautiful Chris was. Chris smiled, a bit shy. “You okay? You just went quiet really quickly.” Darren grinned. 

 

“Yeah, I’m great. Just… Deja vu, I think.”

 

_I will always remember_

_That first stolen moment_

_There you were kissing me,_

_And time seemed to freeze_

 

Chris didn’t know what he was thinking. He didn’t know what Darren was thinking. All he knew was they had been watching Lord of the Rings and then Darren had leaned over and kissed him. Darren was straight. They were friends. Their call time was in ten minutes. But he didn’t want to stop. He had had a crush on this man since the moment they met, but had suppressed it because he knew, he just _knew_ he could never act on it. Then Darren nipped at Chris’s lip, and Chris’s brain turned to goo.

 

_Now I stand at a crossroad_

_And I stare at a question_

_If prayer were the answer, I’d fall on my knees_

 

Chris was speechless at what Alla had just told him. Darren was being perceived as “too gay”. Michael didn’t want he and Darren seen together at all. He could either not be with Darren in public, or come out with Darren. He knew what would happen if he chose to come out. Darren, according to Michael, “doesn’t care”. But Darren didn’t understand. The hate tweets, being turned down for leading man roles, if he came out, he wouldn’t be able to do what he loved to the fullest extent. But the secrecy was stressful, and it would break him down. 

 

_I cannot stay here_

_A parting of souls as I try to move on._

_How do I forget the dream you shared with me?_

 

Chris ran out of Darren’s apartment and drove home, tears blurring everything he saw. It was the best for Darren, he kept repeating to himself. This way he could live his life in public and keep getting the roles he deserved. Darren was heartbroken now, but he’d get over it. He’d find someone else, a girl he could settle down with and kiss in public. It’s the best for Darren. It’s the best for Darren. It’s the best for Darren. It’s the best for Darren. The sobs wracked his entire body.

 

_I’ve never been this bare_

 

Darren knocked on Chris’s door. “Please, Chris. Just tell me what I did. Tell me what I can do to fix it. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you. Please.”

 

_I’ve never been so scared_

 

Chris hugged his knees and sobbed in his bed. Darren had been his rock, and he had just thrown him into the lake and run.

 

_I’ve never felt such honesty_

 

Darren sat with his back to the door, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I would do anything for you, Chris. Please, just tell me what I have to do. You’re the only person I can be myself with, I can’t bear to lose you.”

 

_Doubts that will never go away_

 

Chris had to keep repeating things to himself to keep calm. Darren was straight anyway. He could never have been fully happy with Chris- Chris is a guy. Darren needs a girl. He heard a knock at the door and took a deep breath before slowly approaching.

 

_A moment of such peace_

 

Darren was giving up. He had been there for hours with no answer. He stood up and wiped his tears on his sleeves and was about to walk away when he heard the door click open. Darren turned around and saw Chris, and relief melted across his shoulders and his back.

 

_Each of us standing bare_

 

Chris swallowed. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing you can do. I…” He cleared his throat of the raspiness the crying had caused. “This is what’s best for you.” He closed the door before he cried in front of Darren again.

 

_Knowing what you mean to me_

 

Darren put his hand on the door just as Chris slammed it shut. “Chris, please! You’re the best thing I have right now. If I lose you…” He wiped the tears off his face. “At least tell me why.”

 

_Knowing who we have to be_

 

Chris shut his eyes tight at Darren’s plea, before he turned on his heel and opened the door slightly. “If we keep dating, we’re going to be found out. I am the token gay character. That’s all I’m ever going to be cast as. You’re worth so much more than that. I want so much more than that for you. That’s why. You’ll go and be straight and be an amazing ally. But we can never be seen as anything but friends. We can never _be_ anything but friends.” His voice cracked on the last word and he slammed the door shut again.

 

_Know as you hold my hand_

 

Darren stared at the door in shock. Tears were wetting his cheeks, but he hardly felt them. After a moment, he took off his ring and set it on the mat in front of Chris’s door, then walked away. 

 

_I hope and pray that you’ll understand_

 

Chris paced as Brian watched him. He did it for Darren, he did it for Darren, he did it for Darren. Darren has to understand that this is what’s best for him. Please, let him understand that. He opened his hand and looked at the mark the ring had made from his fist clenching around it.

 

_Forever, you and I_

 

Darren kept turning the small velvet box in his hands. Shit. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Chris. He had been planning on it. He grunted and threw the box at the wall. 

 

_I know, you’re here in my heart_

 

Two men lie in beds across town and stare at their phones, with each other as the screensaver. Neither of them say or do anything else.

 

_Please understand that I tried_

 

Julia’s voice through the phone was a welcome sound for Darren. “I don’t know what I can do to get him to listen, Jules. I’ve done everything I could to get him to listen to me.” He said, his voice quiet, without its usual life. “He doesn’t realize that I don’t care about what parts I get in the future. I’m in love with him.” He could see Julia’s calming smile through the phone. “So tell him.”

 

_Try to see, it’s not goodbye_

 

The first day back at filming afterwards was awkward and tense. During a break, Chris went to his trailer, followed by Darren. “Chris, look, I know you probably don’t want me here right now, but please just listen to me. I can’t deal with life without you. You’re one of the best parts of my life. I can’t say goodbye to you.” Chris turned towards Darren. “It’s not goodbye. I still want you. But this is what you need. Right now, anyway.”

 

_The act is beginning_

_The audience waiting_

 

Chris crossed his arms and looked anywhere but Darren. “We’re actors, Dare. It’s what we do. We need to act like nothing more than friends from now on. And we’re due on set.” He pushed past Darren to the door.

 

_No, stay in this moment where secrets reveal_

_Here in a world where there’s safety in falsehood_

_I have discovered the one thing that’s real_

 

Darren grabbed Chris’s shoulder. “Please, not yet. I am acting every moment of my life, Chris. We all are. But you..” He let out a short, breathy laugh. “You make me feel like a person again. I’ve been so numb. When I’m with you, I can finally feel again. Please, don’t take that away from me.” Chris looked at him for a moment, then turned and started leaving again.

 

_That I love you, and I’ve loved you from the start_

_And if you hold that close to you, we’ll never be apart_

 

“Chris, I love you,” Darren called. Chris stopped walking. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. And I know that I’m jeopardizing almost everything right now, but I don’t care. I love you, and I want everyone to know. I saw what happened when you came out. I’m not as strong as you are. But I love you. I know asking you to help me through this is asking a lot, but please. I can’t think of a better time. We’re better together, Chris.”

 

_That I loved you_

 

“I love you too.”

 

_Please know I loved you_

 

Darren wrapped Chris in his arms and kissed him, tasting the salt of tears. He pulled away and set his forehead against Chris’s. “Do not ever underestimate my love for you, Christopher Paul Colfer.” Chris laughed. “Nor mine for you, Darren Everett Criss.” Darren took a deep breath. “Chris.” He pulled a ring out of his pocket, and pressed it into Chris’s hand. “I love you. Don’t leave me again.” Chris stared at him blankly for a moment, as he pulled the jade ring left on his doorstep out of his own pocket. His smile was crooked. “Wanna trade?” Darren laughed. “Oh, you asshole!” They both grinned. “Is that a yes?” Chris rolled his eyes. “What do you think, weirdo?”

 

_From the start…_

 

They walked down the aisle hand in hand. They are, as they have always been, equals.

 


End file.
